I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
