he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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