hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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