is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It's never too late to be topless.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
