we have officially lost it.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize