My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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