oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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