The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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