My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
