I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Alive.
So much puke
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
