What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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