Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
