There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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