I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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