dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
