I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
How's work?
Spinning.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
