I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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