Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I came so hard my ears popped.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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