Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize