Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
