when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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