Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
