Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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