She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
