I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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