real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
