that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
