All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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