My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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