I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Bring me that man meat
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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