It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
