I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think I am morally bankrupt
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize