Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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