they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
