two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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