I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
