Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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