She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
