At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
