Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
