nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
