She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
