you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
