i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
