So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
