The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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