Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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