with your own penis?
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize