I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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