I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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