But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
