he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I will be naked everywhere
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
