Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
