The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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