Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
cat food counts as protein by the way
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
