when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize