Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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