Christians are straight up FREAKS
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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