I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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