Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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