Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
