He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
