I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
