I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
